Monday, May 7, 2007

LOVE?? and all that silly things!

What is the equation of Love?

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

What is Office politic?

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

How Much to shop?

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.


A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

How to achieve HAPPINESS!

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

What Are your LONGEVITY Tip!

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.


A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

What is the best technique?

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me,

"You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Sunday, May 6, 2007

How do tech support really answer you!

Customer: Hi, I am Cindy. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?

Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.

Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my
desk... Sorry....


Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...

Tech support: .....................
Female customer: .....................

Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?


Tech support: Good Mourning. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Male Customer: Listen pal! Don't start getting technical on me! I'm not
Bill Gates.


Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try,
it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and
placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says
he can't find it...


Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?

Customer: Aaaah....... ......... ....thank you.


Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.


Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back
Customer: OK

Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes

Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...


Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital
letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?


Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five stars.


Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.

Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer : Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.


Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my
computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.


Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the
circle around it?


A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.

Tech support: Are you running it under windows?

Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The
man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is
working fine."


Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same
time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the
letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager"
Customer: I don't have a P.

Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?

Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.

Monday, April 9, 2007

You will be deleted1

well much later...Sorry I still don't have time to update.